the angst and pangs of a 16 year old teenager

On somedays I have to put up with ben's temperamental behaviour. One minute very upset, another minute super elated until the sky is the limit. Today, he had E. Math paper 2 and he came home happy like a bird. Yesterday, was a horrid day for me coz he went on and on about losing some marks off his E.Math paper 1 and I had to tell him to "please move on". Hiya, the ups and downs of a teenager sitting for his O level exams.

Hokay, now about me. I am so sleepy and tired most of the time coz I have to wake up early every morning, be it shocked out of bed by ben or my handphone rings or by some other things.

I am still waiting for meng to change some credit card points into shopping vouchers for me. He is just sooooo slow.

I am so looking forward to 2011 because I want to start all over again in the new year. I will start thinking about new resolutions for next year soon.

oh happy day happy day happy day

my birdday today

ben sitting for his english paper at this very moment

he bought me a bouquet of flowers from 6th ave 3 days ago coz he said he wun be free to buy it on my birdday

meng at the car workshop changing suspension... his fren wants to buy his car coz all his frens know his car condition good good one........ DUN EVEN WAN/NEED/BOTHER TO TEST DRIVE

in fact, ALL his ex-cars are sold to his close frens

meng will be coming over soon.... he is going to bring me some shopping vouchers

will ask him buy cake for me so i can light up the candles

so sleepy.... woke up very early today for ben

akan datang

My birthday is next week. Dun ask me how old I am :) hehehe...

When I reminded Meng about it, he asked me what I want for my birthday.

Hehehe. I haven't decided. Maybe a set of instructional cds to teach me how to play solo on electric guitars... some impressive chops to impress people hurhurhur :0

OR...

A handbag.

I have a handbag fetish.

My birthday wish is of course for Ben to perform well for O level exams. He is getting more and more nervous day by day so I have to assure him he will do very well (I have faith in him lah).

My next wish is that we find a good property to buy soon.

trying to get a hold of myself again

Sometimes, I feel like my life is orbitting out of control and I do say this out loud to Meng. "Meng, I feel like I am losing control of my life." Of course, Meng went ahead and rubbished my feelings.

I can't lose control of my life now coz next week is Ben's O level exams. I have to sleep early every night so that I do not wake up feeling groggy in the morning. In case Ben wakes up late and starts panicking, I will have to be ready to rush him out to the exam venue in my car.

It is already October. 2010 is coming to a close soon so no point feeling like "fwah sian lah, this year not really making enough money and should have worked harder" that kind of feeling. I told myself no regrets lah, work harder and smarter next year, move on.

Washing car in the basement washing bay is becoming a breeze after I got all the right gears. I bought a 4m long water hose $4, two tap heads $4.90 (fortunately bought the right sizes), a sponge mop with a metre long handle $7.50, found a small chair in the basement, got 2 pails, a brush and a bottle of car shampoo. It used to be that I have to go upstairs to the guard's counter to borrow the tap heads and also have to find a furniture to step on to reach a water tap located about 2.5m off ground. Washing car was then a chore. And without the hose, the water pressure which is out of whack would cause the water to splash all over my body. The first time I tried washing my car, I hated it. I was a complete mess after the car wash. Thereafter, I thought I better go out and buy the gears. Now, I only pray and hope that the residents will not complain about me using the water hose to wash my car (which I know in some condos, you are not allowed to). I don't know about other people, but I love playing with water.

My car looks very clean :)

Recently, I tidied up my bedroom and re-arranged the bedroom furniture. My room now looks very pleasant. Ben loves coming over to my room while I work and plonk himself on my bed and complain loudly that he is hungry (seems like forever hungry..... must be exams anxiety). Think he will do well lah, dunno why he is so jittery, last time I wasn't that prepared for my O level exams!!!

Okie, I am heading to the nearby Cold Storage to buy pre-cooked ribs, wings, sushi, etc for Ben to eat..... bye!

restless soul

feeling so restless and feeling like my life is worth nothing... sigh... so pms

maybe time to head to the library for some reading and borrowing of books

maybe time to stop procrastinating about the things that I have put off doing for a while

maybe time to start dressing up again

maybe this, maybe that, aiyoh

TIME TO STOP BEING SO POR POR MAH MAH

Ben's O level exams starts next week so time to buck up and stay strong

quickie

Just a quick post before I go shower and go off to lalaland ZZZzzzzz.

I am supportive of Meng selling his sports car. He is going to do a full de-mod in a couple of days. The de-mod stuff can fetch him around $8-10k. Thereafter, he will put up the car as a normal REX for sale at market price. Car's condition is already very good. I call it "showroom condition". I am not kidding. Meng is a very ngiao person. He had spent alot of time and money on grooming his car. The buyer will never regret buying over his car.

MARANATHA. Gee, so freaking that our MM who is not a christian is using a biblical phrase to chant to calm him down from the stress of watching over his wife who was bedridden and unable to talk for the past two years. The wife had just passed away. RIP Mrs Lee.

I am so going to say "maranatha" to lull myself to sleep. Christians don't practise chanting per se but we are taught to pray unceasingly and to give thanks for everything, good or bad. I see no problem in saying "Oh Lord Jesus, come to me" as it is definitely very affirmative and like what MM said, this aramic phrase sounds very soothing.

It is time to stop being emo regarding Ben.

Just now I went down with Meng to the basement carpark - he to drive his car home and me to pick up my laptop from my car boot. I stood there transfixed listening to the sound of his powerful car engine and turbo, VROOM VROOM VROOM VROOM..... VROOM VROOM VROOM at least a good 20 secs before he drove up the ramp, out of the carpark and out of my sight. I shall miss this REX when it is sold. I get very emo whenever me or my partner sells off a car because I get very attached to every car we had. Triumph Spitfire MKII, Alfa Romeo Alfatta GT, Alfa Romeo Boxer 1.7IE, Honda CRX and even my other modest Japanese cars I also get very emo. Next it will be this beautiful cockeye Subaru WRX in its full glory (beautifully modded by Meng). I will tell Meng to let me say a last goodbye to this car before it goes to the new buyer.

wtf

I am getting increasingly bored with my life and falling easily into mild depression. Ben, my 16 year old son, is mostly the cause of all my heartaches and depression. The amount of sacrifices I have to put up and the unjustly things he can say to me, is beyond my imagination. How could he not be kinder and be more considerate to his mother?? Such as helping to clean and pack the apartment instead of telling me I haven't packed and cleaned to his liking??? WTF!!!!I am his mother, and he is not my mother, period. He is pure lazy yet he dared to nitpick at me!!! I don't believe all these. My mother is to be blamed. Ben learned most of the tone and nitpicking language from her.

I am an active person and to be at home most of the time to be a good mother is getting very boring for me. AND UNREWARDING. FUCK.

I prefer to live life on the fast lane. I love to be doing things and making money and enjoying life. Who doesn't????

I am going to plan my life for myself the way I see fit.

Life has gone on a vicious cycle for too long. Fuck it!