Friday 25 June 2010

back to business

I am slowly coming back to human realm consciousness. Last 2-3 days I was like in a daze because my mind was continuously playing a broken record with a voice asking, "why ar? why ar?"

Okay, thank God I am closing in on a deal. Not a big one, in fact, very small but I am happy because I love the feeling of closing deals! Call it adrenalin rush! Or in hokkien-speak, "happy pom pipi" feeling.

Anywayz, today I was at my sister's office and we were talking about my project marketing and she helped me linked up a very prospective client.... hey, another good one! This one is very very potential. Okie okie adrenalin fluid pumping again..... Client will call me back on Monday if need more discussion....

My hairdresser Wendy was very kind. She was very encouraging and she prayed for me over the phone with powerful words to rebuke the devil from attacking my work. I am very humbled and comforted by her encouraging words. I think being successful has somehow gotten into my head and I have forgotten it is The One above who blesses me with the success, not my own effort.

Great! I am also helping Wendy find an assignee to takeover her hairdressing business in Tanjong Pagar. She is quite sad to let it go but she has other plans on her mind. Anybody interested?

some people, tsk tsk

I just mopped the floor and now, the home feels really clean.

I am looking for little things in life that makes me happy, like a clean floor.

This year seems like a pretty bad year, at least for the last half year. As far as work is concerned, almost everything turned out bad. Feel so sad... how come like this???

My sister said, blame it on your apartment, buey gum for you.

But ben said, cannot say liddat, then it becomes a feng shui thing, but it is not!

So I said, then it is satanic attack... before the bud could fruit, it drops off half-way.

Just two days ago......

The one whom I considered my friend, has just betrayed me. She played a very dirty trick on me. She undercut my deal. The total commission was going to be huge and I was the one who gave her the lead to cobroke this deal with me. It's either greed for more money or to outwit / outsmart me because she thinks she is much cleverer than me. WTF. She is not cleverer, in fact, she is dumber for trying to out-smart me... it will back-fire on her... time will tell. She is avoiding contacts with me by forever being "away" on msn and disappearing from facebook. WTF. Proven guilt-stricken. I am suffering from mild shock. My colleagues are understanding. They treated me nice because they know I am feeling yucky from such betrayal. Once I get over this shock, I will move on and forget about such low-down people whom I have always been nice and kind. I will move on and get back to focusing on work and closing more deals.

All the more, I appreciate Meng for being consistent all these years and for being by my side through thick and thin, good times or bad times, having plenty or having little.

Ben said to me not to trust friends anymore especially when it involves big money, but only the very close friends.

Ben, meng and me are feeling yucky about this whole thing because it involves a friend (now stranger) whom we know well.

I tell myself not to feel defeated but to keep my spirits up high.

I will continue to be positive and cheerful.

Sunday 20 June 2010

pay and pay (sounds familiar?)

NOT looking forward to these:

1. road tax
2. car insurance

by mid july... sian jit puah

road tax these days like so expensive leh... i hope the gahmen nab those car workshops who anyhow claim high cost for accident cases..... they jack up repair costs so high, now we the drivers suffer, we have to pay higher insurance premium

so sian :(

heartbreaking story

A very heartbreaking story about a young woman's guilt after abortion, losing her will to live and how she turned her life around.

Interestingly, there is an application called, "bucket list" on facebook that she mentioned that helps turn her life around and also online shopping for clothes that helps her look forward to a new day.

I also once almost lost all will to live. I am so glad there is something called inner-strength when you are hanging onto the last bit of the rope.

http://www.divaasia.com/article/9560

http://www.divaasia.com/article/9561

http://www.divaasia.com/article/9564

Eric Clapton's sad story

How did Eric Clapton's son die?

Read this link:

http://www.eric-clapton.co.uk/interviewsandarticles/loryinterview.htm

It is a long essay but read somewhere from the middle.

In short, the boy flew out of a 53rd storey condo from an open glass window which was not supposed to be opened. Freak accident. Why is it that ang mohs never see the value of grills?? We chinese people have no qualms about grilling the entire HDB flat. Rather safe than sorry. Rather a prison than a picturesque, unobstructed, panoramic postcard view.

The thought sends chills to my bones. Inconceivable. I will never want that to happen to my boy nor to anybody's boy.

So sad. Eric Clap wrote a song called "Circus left town". Eric and his son Connor visited the circus just a day before the accident happened. They were so happy and then the next day, tragedy struck. So, Eric Clapton wrote this song and he described his feelings as "so sad". Heartbreaking. You can find this song on youtube. Very beautiful, very sad.

And of course, the very popular song called, "Tears in Heaven" he wrote to describe the scenario of ever seeing his son again.

Thursday 10 June 2010

incoherent ramblings

i know i dun hv enough sleep every nite but still i wun go to bed early... something is terribly wrong with me... anywayz, been working hard to close more deals and today, i had a meeting with a big fish.... monday another meeting with the same big fish.... hope all soon soon chop chop close and hosey liao for the next few months... thinking of refocussing my attention to more profitable segments of the market.... well for that, i will have to give up some of those work that are taking up too much time for too little money.... geez, money is not easy to make but very easy to spend..... i am working so hard for that extra money coz this year our home expenses are realli high compared to previous years..... nonetheless, life is pretty good for the time-being

i am a bad time organiser, spending so little time playing the guitar lately...... however, i am making good progress on eric clapton's "tears in heaven".... fingerstyle playing is the same as the classical guitar technique so it realli is not a problem for me but i wan to play the piece beautifully with dynamics and feelings and that is difficult.... it requires much patience and practice

trivial question: do you know why eric clapton wrote the song "tears in heaven"? hokay, so you know his son died and he wrote this song to express his pain.... now the real question: do you know how his son died???



(i almost freaked out upon finding out the truth..... i will tell you what happened in another post)



ben is having school holidays now and he is kinda behaving very well after we communicated about what ticks me off... i think he is trying.... now i see that he consciously puts himself into my shoes to try to understand what i am going thru.... as a mom, that is very satisfying

life is short... sometimes realli no pt to think too much or try to aim too high.... hiaz

i hope to take a break for a vacation overseas...... tokyo? rome? italy? mediterranean sea? that would have been so nice.... but ben dislike travelling out of the country so i haven realli travelled much for the last few years

this year ben takes his O level so i hope he performs well and go to ACJC as he had hoped for

time flies so fast, ben is already 16 years old.......... soon, HE WILL BE GOING INTO THE ARMY!!!! Gosh, i am growing old too fast!!!!

hokay i am going to bed soon..... tomorrow is another day where i have much work to do

nitezzzzzzzzZZZZZZZ

Tuesday 8 June 2010

lim teh talk cock

we must give ourselves a group name lah.... how about "uncle beng's angels"? hahaha...

and so...

old beng, kurakat, xorpheus, elydia, peter and moi met up again at the roadside mama stall... lim teh talk cock... talk about why always onli moi and old beng organise meet ups and not xorpheus or kurakat... til today no definitive answer, they just smile at u when u ask them point blank in the face (damn scary, man!)

we change topics very fast and before you know it, old beng announced he is very tired liao becoz for 2 days he has been packing and moving stuff becoz of office relocation and to prove a point, he put his two hands around his waist, twist and turn and make the face look like in pain to show he is not joking, he IS very tired...

oh ya...

we discussed "fly kites" and "climb trees" and old beng explained all the vulgar connotations in hokkien expletives hur hur hur... however moi catch no ball becoz it got too technical so moi asked if there is an operation manual available

nonetheless we have more or less decided to fly kites for the next meet up... yes, just pure clean fun, no hanky panky.... sure old beng will love it hurhurhur

Thursday 3 June 2010

12 teenagers and the deafening noise

ben had his bbq and his frens were so noisy and rowdy, kena complained by residents and also guard kaopeh ben nvr submit form for bbq pit booking and the guard talk to me like damn dulan...

other than that, everything went smoothly, food was fantastic (yay, ahmo seasoned the chicken wings, sambal sotong and sambal prawns.... the boys loved it!)

well wat do u expect from a group of 16 year old boys from a boy's school... sure very active and loud rite? from my 4th floor unit, i could hear them shouting so damn loud and clear downstairs... one min they play tennis, next min they all hanging around at the pool, next min i see a group of shirtless young men screaming and shouting inside the pool... wah, i almost pengsan lah, coz i know sure the guards will come and talk to me about the extreme noise level

when i saw them starting the fire, i went downstairs to help them grill the food... wah 2 boys so enthusiastic want to be chief cooks and only allow me to stand behind and help out.... all the 12 boys were extremely polite and nice to me and all of them were like "thank you aunty... this", "thank you aunty.... that", so lovable and ke ai

later they all came upstairs and wah siao liao!!! with gusto they were singing along with the guitar hero game and then the inevitable happened, the guard came up and knocked on the door....

another group was inside ben's room playing guitar and drums... also damn noisy man... so i asked ben please don't kick the bass drum that hard, so damn loud!

i had to go to both groups and asked them to tone down...

but they all very cooperative after i tell them nicely they must tone down otherwise the residents complain again becoz it is already 10pm

my immediate downstairs neighbour is an old lady and i know she damn ngiao one... last time she complained i dragged dining room chairs, so i had to go buy sticker padding for the chair leg base

but all in all, it was fun and a great way to spend the night

when i was a teenager like them, i was also the same, very fun loving and noisy

that's why i nvr get angry lah

i fully understand