Tuesday, 21 September 2010

GCE O Level

Ah Ben is going to sit for his O level exams next month. Triple science, 2 maths, 1 humanities and 2 languages. 1 language - chinese, already cleared on first take.... C6 and he is already so happi pom pipi. KNS, these ACS boys all cannot make it for chinese one. The Chinese teacher told those who passed with C6 not to bother to try again.

Ok for prelims, Ah Ben hit 9 pts for best 6 subjects (L1 R5). 4 A1, 1 A2 and 1 B3. Not bad... actualli come to think of it, already quite good lah. If Ah Ben continue like this for O level exams, I also very happi pom pipi.

So wat is the good supportive mom doing for him now?

The good mom is actualli not so good most of the time. Becoz have to go out and work for a living so nvr have time to realli cook proper meals for Ah Ben. As a result, Ah Ben is realli very skinny. In fact, underweight. So in order for Ah Ben to have more brain power and more carbo so that he can tahan the challenging O level exams, mommy is cooking meals for him everyday. Now mommy practise time management. Juggle career and mommy-homemaker duties at the same time. Aiyah dun realli wan to care abt work for the next 1.5 months. Just make sure Ah Ben does well for O level. In fact, there is a subsidized holiday retreat to Phuket organised by mommy's company, but mommy has turned it down so that mommy can stay by ah ben's side whilst he does his O level exams. As it turns out, yes ah ben does not want mommy to go for that retreat becoz he needs mommy's moral support (in person) and rah rah cheerleading. Never underestimate the importance of mothers' presence at the most crucial milestones in their children's lives. Maybe I should have been a psychologist.....

Anywayz the good mommy is going to bed now. Tomorrow another long day to juggle work and home duties.

Monday, 13 September 2010

Do you love your mom?

(This is a very negative post. Don't read it if you do not want to spoil your day.)

Hey, do you love your mom? I do but somehow my mom always try her level best to make my life very difficult. I am serious. During the crucial stages of my life, she is there to destroy it. Oh gosh, why do I say such negative things about her? I do love her, I do. When I was young, I tried my level best to win her acceptance and love but one day, I think I must have been around aged 13 or 14, I came to a realisation that it will never happen so there and then I gave up the idea. Since she has always derided me and ridiculed my efforts at doing well in school and even went as far as insulting me that I cannot sing and I have no musical talent, I gave up trying to win her approval and henceforth I work hard for myself, only for myself. My success is for myself. Whatever achievements I made in school or outside, I kept the news to myself. In adulthood, I am convinced my mother does not want me to succeed in life.

If not for the fact that I became a Christian at a very young age (nobody forced me to, my family were not christians) and for the love that the Lord had given me and God's eyes upon me, I would have gone to jump down from the highest story of a HDB block. My childhood was rather miserable and sad. I was my mother's scapegoat for every wrong thing my big sister did. I was scolded and punished for I-also-dunno-what-I-had-done-wrong.

One day, I could not take it any longer (think I was in Sec 4). So I became rebellious and stood up to all her scoldings and challenged her back. Of cos, she scolded me more and said Jesus have taught me to be rude to my parents. I can never win. If children are physically or verbally abused and psychological tormented, how do they protect themselves? No way because they are children and vulnerable to the actions of the adults. Cos children do not know where to run to.

Mind you, when I was young, there were many older people who told me I have an above-average intelligence. Even my own late hub who was a doctor, said so.

I don't understand my own mother. Really.

There are only few instances I recalled that she had made tremendous efforts to help me.

My mother is the domineering, control-freak type. I have always always envied my friends who have soft-spoken mothers. I wish I had a mom like theirs.

Here is a very touching story about a very wonderful, hardworking and uneducated mom. I so wished to have a mom like that who really cared about my studies. This story is very emo.... hehe I warned you so.

http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/days-i-made-my-mother-cry

However, I am trying my level best to love my mother because she is in her 60s now. Already old. I am trying to forget the past and the hurts contributed by her.

Today, my small sister was complaining so much about mom. Mom and small sister are staying under one roof in my big brother's HDB maisonette. Big sister is not well and also staying there and mom taking care of her. Mom is stressed out and giving hell to everybody there. Big quarrels going on between all of them and separately among them. I feel sad. Just when I am letting go and bringing myself to love her more, here comes more reminders of how difficult my mom was towards me.

As far as my relationship with my son goes, I consciously do not do what my mother has done to me when I was young.

You may have heard it already, when I was young, I loved playing the piano very much but one day, my mom terminated my lessons (INSTANTLY!!!) by giving 2 lame excuses that I was rude to her and that I do not like music.

To my young mind, the impression was formed inside my head that whatever I loved and liked, she will surely take it away from me to punish me and to make me hurt the most. Sad for a young child I was then.

Sigh, she is afterall my mom. I do love her, still.

(I wish my mom gets to read this post. I dunno if she ever realised what I had to go thru in childhood and teenage years.)

Thursday, 9 September 2010

I want this!

A green pineapple-shaped ukulele.




























You say: Wat????

Yes, Ukulele. A small hawaiian guitar with 4 strings.

My late father played the ukulele very well and we used to have several of them at home when I was young. I don't know why I never learnt how to play it from my dad.

The sound of an ukulele is a very happy and chirpy sound. For the most famous example of the sound, please listen to "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz.

Okie, so now you get it. Nice rite?

I have told Meng I want one. He said okie.

Apparently, there is a ukulele craze brewing in Singapore.

Check out: ukulelemovement.com

Wednesday, 1 September 2010

gym

I took my fat ass off the chair and went to the gym!

Gym is just 4 floors down the lift (lift is just 10 steps from my front door), walk out of the lift upon reaching 1st floor, make a turn to the left, walk out to the outdoor pathway, about 20 steps later, I reach the gym door. However, the gym is always locked (dun understand lock for what? keep residents out of the gym?? siao bo??). So, another 50 steps are needed to reach the guard counter at the front of the condo and sign in for the key and 2 aircon remote controls, and then make my way back to the gym (another 50 steps needed).

After gym, still have to walk back to the guard counter to return the key and remote controls.... kanasai!

From my bedroom window, 4 floors down, the gym is directly on the opposite side. Somehow, this wonderful view of the gym everyday has not made me more motivated to keep fit. The tennis court can be seen directly outside my living room window but it has not made ah boy want to play tennis everyday. I do wonder why we are living in a condo.

I desperately need to lose weight... the reason why I went to the gym today.

I need a gym partner so that he/she can motivate me to keep going. Meng is too lazy to gym or do anything. Most of the time, I see him sleeping or watching the telly. Months ago, we tried swimming regularly but soon the habit died a premature death. Bloody Meng, he is very fit but I am getting too fat! (Meng is fit because he plays soccer regularly.) The whole pool is visible from my bedroom window as well, but aaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhh, I am damn bloody lazy!!!!!

Somebody please slap my butt!